I am on a constant quest to bash through mental barriers, sometimes I can be plagued by them, other days I’m like a lean mean mental barrier bashing machine. I try hard to ensure that my perspective gives me the best possible view of the world and try to see beauty in everything, or view negativity with compassion. Its not easy, detaching, letting go of things that aren’t good for us or investing time in what is great for us. I’m constantly growing and there will be no end result, just trying to make the next day better than the best.
I feel content with how my children are thriving. I work hard to let go of any guilt from the past and combat any anxieties about the future, In essence, its all pointless, we only have this current moment in time, worrying is just like praying for something bad to happen.
There has been some events recently that have unfortunately pushed my resilience to its limits. I suppose I liked to think that despite being dramatic my phsychological resilience was fairly good, I felt I could properly adapt to any stress or adversity faced
I AM STRONG! The mantra: BE STRONG, TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO BE STRONG!
Scarlett currently resides in a bubble of protection, either at home or school Scarlett is not only loved but understood. Her specialist school means that she isn’t subject to prejudice or judgment. And when she is out in public she is still so wrapped up in her own little world, knowing no different, from the laughs and giggles that pour out of her soul.
At a family party a young girl attended, she was visually impaired and had cerebral palsy. She stood very quietly to one side of the party, not mixing with the other children and looking very uncomfortable. The other children at the party were so oblivious to the child feeling left out, bouncy castles, boys play fighting, it is so very easy for children to just not notice. I really felt for this girl and helped her integrate into the party by introducing her to Scarlett. She is so happy to meet and play with anyone and the young girl asked throughout the party if she could go back and play with her. Scarlett and all her laughing and giggling is enough to make anyone feel better! On further talking with the girl she explained why she is not looking forward to going back to school as she is bullied, my heart broke.
This incident alongside some other horrible accounts I have read or heard about is really taking its toll on me emotionally. Despite working hard not too hold onto anxious thoughts about Scarlett’s future it is beginning to drag me down. I feel so helpless and its in my nature to be a ‘fixer’.
I have given advice many of times about not taking into account the opinions of ignorant people and I have written many posts which talk about how I work to put things into perspective. But recently I have been feeling very tested with this thought process, witnessing it, not with my own daughter, but with someone else’s has affected me deeply and no amount of chanting ‘I AM STRONG’ will make me feel strong.
I have really began to question if I can’t display resilience how can I pass that quality onto my own daughter, she is the person who will need it most.
I know this isn’t the normal tone I adopt for my posts and I really did consider whether writing it would be of benefit to myself or anyone else. I decided, despite feeling slightly deflated I think ‘getting it out’ may be a good way forward for me.